By the Stroke of a Pen

I am re-posting this from about 3 years ago. This is a response to a essay written against adoption. I was given the assignment for my Rhetorical Writing class. As an adoptive mother this hit very close to home. (I got an A I might add)



“Why do some governments persist in issuing adopted children with new birth certificates, which is a fabrication” (Robinson), reads the second sentence in the introduction, from Evelyn Burns Robinson’s rant against adoption. I have tried to stay fair in my naming of her feelings however she is very venomous and totally against adoption. Robinson compares adoption to slavery, as human beings bought and sold like cattle. She states that no matter the type of family history or dynamics, that children should be taken in by family members until the mother who in her mind is just having a hard time can once again take care of the child. “Women must stop taking other women’s children,” is her answer to the adoption quandary. Her idea is that babies are taken from someone who is financially insecure and placed with someone who can only offer the child more stuff. Robinson feels that the love of a birth mother can never be equaled by an adoptive parent. While her view is of that as a birthmother who is letting her remorse over her own decision cloud the so many wonderful experiences of birth mothers, adopted children and adoptive families. Adoption is and always has been a vital and important part of our society to give a child a forever family. The singular view of one birthmother who now regrets her decision to give up a child for adoption can not negate the needs of the many children in our world that are in need of a stable and loving home.

The comparison of adoption to slavery is for shock value. Slavery is a dark time in our nation’s and world’s history. Robinson says that slavery was there “because [we] wanted them {slaves] and society said that [we] could.” Expecting one human to do the jobs another feels is beneath them, at the threat of bodily harm or even loss of life is reprehensible. Many children in the world are left neglected, abused, starved, or treated as slaves of the birth parent who is supposed to love them and keep them safe. All children deserve a life free of such things and the opportunity to be children not the servant of the adult in their lives. Adoption gives these children the chance to have a home and parents who will love them unconditionally. Today we know and understand that all life is important and is not to be thrown away in any form. Adoption is quite the opposite of slavery. It is the opportunity for a child to learn and grow in a world that truly wants them and gives them the chance to become the person they are meant to be. Children are not bought and sold on the street corner or at the local auction with the live stock. Great care is taken in checking out prospective parents preparing them for the obsicales that may arise due to a child’s past or genetic history. Yes adoption is an expensive process but is not for profit of one or two individuals, but the cost of the process of making sure that the child is placed in the right place for their needs.

Robinson’s answer for adoption is to place children with family until the birth mother gets through her rough times. Once again this is a limited view. Consider the situation and family dynamics of a child who is placed for adoption though a state agency. The child is removed from a home where the mother is severely neglecting and abusing the child. In most cases this is not a first time situation, the parent learned this response from somewhere. The state agency’s first priority is family reunification and placing the child with suitable family members if at all possible. However if the parent learned such behaviors from their own parents then placing a child in the same environment with other family members is not a viable option. When grandparents are of an age they cannot take in children or sibling of the parents are not old enough or stable enough to take in children, where are these children to go. There is also every possibility that there is no family member willing to give up the life the currently have to parent this child. Agencies’ give birth families every opportunity to learn parenting skills that are needed. When this fails to happen a child cannot be left hanging in the system indefinitely a permant home must be found. Robinson alludes to huge numbers of children being given back the state agencies after being adopted by parents who decide they no longer want to parent these children. With the training and the entire medical and social history given to the adoptive parents this is rare.

Our history as an entire planet is full of adoption. Ancient cultures would take in the children of enemies and raise them as their own when they were found orphaned. It was not unheard of for an adult to be adopted by a family when his own family was killed. As the Mormons crossed the country on the way to the Great Salt Lake Valley entire families died. From time to time leaving one or more children without any family to care for them on the journey, other families stood up and took that child in to be raised as their own. Yes in most cases children were taken in by family members in the past however we have become a society who thinks only of ourselves now and many of these children would have not relatives to live with.

Robinson’s view is very narrow and tinted by her own feelings of sorrow and grief. She wants to put a stop to what she feels is the cause of her grief. It is a natural response but just proves that she has not dealt with the issues within herself. She is trying to project her own feeling on the whole world and villinazing a very necessary process because she cannot deal with the choices she either made or felt pressured to make.